What Do You Do When You Don’t Know What To Do?

We’ve all been there — in a predicament we always thought we’d know better than to get ourselves into. But then one small thing leads to another, and suddenly you’re in a seemingly never ending spiral... You have no idea what direction to go in order to get back to where you were before you got in this place. 

Whether it’s financially, relationally, professionally, or in any other aspect of your life, just remember that this place you’re in is only temporary. You’ll get to the place you were in before you got here, or better: this season will make you stronger and will help you ‘level up’ to excel in your next season. Typically, there’s something that happens that triggers a spiral that you don’t know how to get out of.

For me, this past year has lead to places I’d never thought I’d be. After my dads death, I handled the pain of grief with shopping and spending money. I’ve always been the girl who was proud of her cute finds at Goodwill or Plato’s Closet, but when my dad got put on hospice, that quickly changed. I started thinking that life was too short to not buy the shirt or the shoes... or the trip... or the new phone. Whatever it was, I wanted it. The new things that I could purchase in my life filled the void that my dad left when he died. Quickly, I racked up the credit cards, wasn’t paying towards my medical bills, was getting pulled over and not paying tickets, and more. 

I became hugely irresponsible as a result of my dad’s death.

Now, about a year and a half later, I’m left with the messy bed I made and now I’m forced to lie in that bed. I have a few different ways that I could go about making this bed new again, though. 

1. Continue to lie in it, toss and turn, and allow it to get messier until the sheets are in unmanageable tangles 
2. Make attempts to fix the bed as I continue to lie in it, or
3. Find the motivation & discipline that I need in order to get out of bed to untangle the sheets and remake it from point A.

I’d say I could start from scratch, and in many situations, you may very well be able to. Let’s say you’re in a toxic, cyclic relationship and have been for years. You could “easily” (I say easily very loosely... I know this is never an ‘easy’ feat) start over from scratch — end that chapter, find & love yourself again, and move forward with someone you’d be happier with. 

But, essentially what it boils down to is that no matter what seemingly impossible-to-get-out-of situation you may be in, you’ve got to start putting a lot of thought into what direction you want to take your life. After all, every ‘small’ decision you make could have a major impact on the rest of your life; and thus, your happiness.

I know that in many situations, it’s damn near impossible to even want to (literally & figuratively) get out of bed. But again, you’ve got to decide whether or not this is the life you want to live. You’ve got to fight for your happiness. You’ve got to work for your happiness. 

Yes, happiness should come naturally, but if you’ve been mindlessly going about life, (i.e. spending money at any opportunity without budgeting prior, just going through the motions of a relationship, etc.) you might end up in that cycle of “how did I get here?”. The answer summed up is simple — lack of intention, lack of discipline, lack of determination, and ultimately, lack of vision for your life.

Fight for your happiness to get out of the bed you’ve been lying in. Fight for the strength to fix the sheets even though you might be weak; and remind yourself that it doesn’t have to be perfect the very first time you try. Remind yourself that you only get one life and although it is too short to not strive for a better version of your life, it’s still important to give yourself grace for any mistakes you’ve made or for the inevitable delays that may come along the way. 

When you don’t know exactly what to do or which direction to go, ask yourself where you want to be. If where you are currently doesn’t align with where you want to be, fight to make it happen. This is your life and you can make anything you want of it. Obstacles will come, mindsets and seasons will change, you’ll make mistakes and there will be delays. But give yourself the grace that you need, and then fight for your happiness and fight for your life.

You’re never alone. xo